A life coach's tips for living your best life, even after grief

A life coach’s tips for living your best life, even after grief

From being widowed while pregnant and losing her brother to cancer, to being diagnosed with a brain tumour and having to learn to walk again, Rachel Gotto has come out the other side with an eagerness to pass on her tips for living life to the fullest.

Now a qualified life coach, she joined the Jennifer Zamparelli Show to share her hard-won tips.

Gotto says she began turning her life around seven years ago. “I was emerging from a really dark place in my life and I’d been through a lot of trauma”, she says. “There was some spark that arose in me somewhere.”

“I actually woke up and knew that I had enough life under my belt, enough life experience, and I had this calling to give back.”

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Rachel felt that her lived experiences were “so powerful” that she could “help other people transform their lives back from literally devastation and loss”.

She started by training to be a hypnotherapist, before adding more teachings to her “toolbox”, which she brings with her to clients. “As each person’s different, it can take a lot of different little skills, hacks, strategies, along with the therapeutic process.”

Gotto says clients come to her specifically “because they know they can trust that I can hold the space for them”.

“Our lives are very important to us and we want somebody who is really there for us, who can listen deeply, who can get us and who can hold that overview over our problems so they can naturally empathise and be compassionate, but look for solutions and hacks unique to each individual person.

Although trained in various therapies, Gotto identifies as a life coach because she sees her role as “open[ing] up possibilities”. She aims to show clients that “they have possibilities, there is a different avenue and literally what’s holding them back are these deep-seated held beliefs”.

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These beliefs, she says, are sometimes “the things that sabotage, that rob us, and they rob us of our greatness and that feeling that we can go anywhere”.

As for whether this is something that faces Irish people more than others, Gotto says it’s what challenges many people all over the world.

“We have better days than others and we have little niggling bits that come and go”, she says. “But generally most people have self-esteem issues. We’re very good at hiding what’s underneath the surface, and we’re very good at putting up with our burdens.

“That’s why I think it’s so so important nowadays that we highlight mental health issues. Also that we become more transparent and open about our own struggles, and that’s what I like to do. I’m not perfect, my life isn’t perfect and I’m not fixed. I’m continually trying to fix myself.”

Her first tip is to silence your inner critic. “I don’t think that many people know that between 70 and 80 per cent of our thoughts are naturally negative. They arise out of the mind in a negative fashion”, she says.

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Once we recognise that and start challenging what we’re thinking, she says we begin addressing our beliefs.

At the core of our negative beliefs may be lack of confidence, so Gotto suggests taking time to understand where your triggers lie. “You’re giving yourself a little bit of support”, and from there you can start challenging it.

She says that by using the word “stop” to halt those beliefs, you can over time create some space for yourself to “choose a different thought”.

“You’re changing the narrative.”

For the full interview, listen back here.

If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.

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